Can Divorced Partners
Be Friends Ex Friendships
Sometimes divorced partners can be friends, depending on the
circumstances. Here are some guidelines for ex friendships, or being friends
with ex-wives or ex-husbands. Children may be the reason ex-wives and
ex-husbands stay in touch with ex-husbands or ex-wives, but can divorced
partners actually be friends? Yes, in certain circumstances -- but sometimes
staying friends after divorce is harmful for everyone.
Here's how to survive a separation
and divorce (without repeated calls to your divorce lawyer or mediator!Take
Kim, for instance. This ex-wife spends alot of time with Brian, her ex-husband.
In fact, they often discuss her relationship with her current live-in
boyfriend. Nothing is off limits – not even discussions about physical intimacy
– though her ex-husband draws the line at spending the night at their house.
Kim is having trouble letting go of
her ex-husband - and is flirting with an emotional affair. In this case, it may
not be healthy for divorced partners to be friends.
Can Divorced Partners Be Friends?
Ex-Wife and Ex-Husband Friendships.Is spending time with the ex-husband harmful
or helpful to Kim and her children? Even a divorce lawyer can't say for sure
because depends on several factors: trust, personality, comfort level,
motivation, and so on. Each situation is different.
Here are a few guidelines to help
sort out whether divorced partners can be friends with ex-wives or ex-husbands
(here, "spending time" means one-on-one visits for lunch, dinner,
movies, walks, telephone conversations, etc.
It's Harmful for Divorced Partners to
be Friends When They:
Aren't "over" the ex and
still struggle with intimate feelings.
Want to re-establish an intimate
relationship with the ex-wife or ex-husband.
Are with a current partner who isn't
comfortable with it.
Have sex with the ex-husband or
ex-wife.
Are more honest and authentic with
the ex than your divorced partner (this is emotional intimacy).
Often turn to the ex-husband or
ex-wife for advice and help.
Are abused by the ex-wife or
ex-husband.
Fight with the divorced partner.
Have unresolved feelings, emotions,
and conflicts about the divorced husband or wife.
Haven't established new friendships
since separating from the divorced partner.
If you're wondering if you can be
friends with your ex-husband or ex-wife, ask what your motivation for spending
time with your divorced partner is. If you have healthy reasons, then spending
time with your divorced partner may not be harmful.
It's Helpful for Ex-Wives and
Ex-Husbands to be Friends When They:
Can be with the ex-husband or ex-wife
and the current partner at the same time.
Have children with the divorced
partner and share the responsibilities of raising them.
Had a strong friendship with the
divorced partner when together, which is naturally continuing.
Have a platonic, nonsexual relationship
with the ex-husband or ex-wife.
Are supported by the current partner.
Have appropriate boundaries that the
divorced partner is comfortable with.
Divorced Partners Can Be Friends if
Trust Exists
Spending time with your ex-husband or
ex-wife could raise issues of trust and jealousy in the current relationship.
It may be a constant reminder to your partner that you did love this person,
even if it was long ago, and you shared intimate moments with them. If your
partner isn't comfortable with this, then maybe it's time to let go of your
ex-husband or ex-wife. After all, who's more important: your ex-spouse or your
current partner?
If you can set healthy boundaries in
love, then it's easier to be friends with an ex-partner.
Divorced Partners Can Be Friends if
Your Current Partner is Included
The ideal way to spend time with your
ex-wife or ex-husband is by involving your current partner. Once your partner
sees the innocence in your friendship, her or she may be more supportive.
Divorced partners can be friends when the relationship is open and healthy.
Of course, if your ex-partner abuses
you or your children, it's never a good idea to spend time together! Also, make
sure it's not a fear of intimacy with your current partner that's driving you
to your divorced partner. Maybe you think divorced partners can be friends
because you're afraid -- not because you sincerely want to be friend with your
ex-spouse.
If you found Can Divorced Partners
Can Be Friends? helpful, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.You may also be
interested in How Do I Deal With My Husband's Toxic Ex-Wife?
Vocabulary:
Divorce =
Perceraian Harmful
= Berbahaya
Circumstance
= Keadaan sekitar. Jeleously
= Kecemburuan
Relationship
= Hubungan Innocence
= Keadaan tidak bersalah
Flirting =
bercumbu-cumbuan Comfortable
= Tidak nyaman
Answer the
following question with the correct answer:
1.
According to the passage, can divorced partner
be friend?
2.
What will you do if this happen to you?
3.
What will you do if this happen to your
wife/husband?
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